I had a question posed to me in a survey. “Do you feel that you’ve lost your sense of identity since becoming a mother?” So I pose this question to all the Mom’s out there.
My personal answer is I think more than anything, since having James, I feel invigorated. I have a sense of purpose and not just in terms of being his Mom. But in terms of my goals and what I want to accomplish. In a strange way, it feels like someone hit the refresh icon on my life.
This is not to say that things have changed. They have, there are of course concessions. Time being one of them. I really need a haircut. I haven’t had one since before James was born. It’s not that I don’t have time to do it, it just in terms of priorities, it’s not high on my list of things to do. I can put it off, so I have. But I’m definitely going next week. See, I’ve put it in print to the internet, it must happen now. Of course the freedom to leave the house whenever you want, without about twenty tons of baby gear is missed. But realistically, we stopped having that kind of freedom when we got a neurotic rescue dog. None of these feel like hardships most of the time. Of course, you’ll have moments, where you wish for days gone by…but don’t we all?
This of course my situation, I don’t speak for others and don’t claim to speak for others. For myself, I’ve never really had a defined career. There really hasn’t been anything that I could really call a passion or a calling. I think the closest I’ve come to feeling that way is Motherhood. But there are still things I want to pursue and I’m taking the steps to do so. For others, who have found that passion, I can understand how it can feel so conflicting. This isn’t about judgement, this about it being okay to discuss the fact that while we are Mothers, it’s just one aspect of our identity.
I’d love to hear your thoughts!